she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
