I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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