i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
