I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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