bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
