Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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