Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
