do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
