Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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