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I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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