Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
