Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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