1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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