i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You did what with his pubic hair?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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