I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Houston, we have a blender
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
