Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
