WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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