i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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