kristin has been a bad kristin
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
