It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
