Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize