I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
