So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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