when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
