you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
