this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
