question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
