i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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