so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
