He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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