I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize