if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
