Im at strip club and am horny
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
God I need to hump something, right now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize