No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize