I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
