I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
