is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
