There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
