Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
