OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Non-Jews are for practice
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
