if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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