Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
