we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
