shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
