All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
