yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
