i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
