dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
even my farts smell like vagina
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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