Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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