:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize