last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
