Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There's always time for handjobs
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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