Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
