I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
