I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
