weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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