Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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