We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
