i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
