The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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