I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
