you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
