Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
