watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
