Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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