..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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