Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize