are you still at the devil's house?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Found your dick twin last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
