I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
