Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
