Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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