Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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