where am i from again
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
