She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
