its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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