I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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