I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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