One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
