Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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