You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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