Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
