i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
